“Artists are visionaries. We routinely practice a form of faith, seeing clearly and moving toward a creative goal that shimmers in the distance - often visible to us, but invisible to those around us. Difficult as it is to remember, it is our work that creates the market, not the market that creates our work. Art is an act of faith, and we practice practicing it…”
Julia Cameron - The Artist’s Way
Dear Blog and Dear Beautiful People Reading Me,
Good evening! Writing while waiting at Catania airport for a very delayed flight.
Holidays are here and with more time available for myself, the opportunity to choose how to spend my time arises, so I writing becomes easier.
It makes me think about how I manage my time in general, what I make time for.
The end of the year is for everyone a time to ponder about the past year and about the next year’s resolutions. And so, I began to think about what jobs I should say NO to in order to make time and space for what is important for me.
For example, investing into a project that is not paid today, but that I believe in. By giving it the time it deserves to grow and evolve.
Making your work your passion is something that not everyone can manage to do.
Making a life in circus is definitely not easy though. Digging deeper, I found it is even harder to make your passion WITHIN circus your work. Circus has a lot of layers, genres, there are many ways of doing circus. I know that often we accept work just to be able to pay the bills. It is an experience I lived on my skin for many years and that I hear about a lot. Often what I see is that this is the compromise we have to make to be able to do what we love. For instance, doing a gig we don’t care about just to make money, while the creative work is on the side.
One thing I always told myself is that if I don’t do circus the way I say, I don’t do it at all.
Rope is for me a channel of expression. I find my voice with and through it. I do rope because I love doing it. But if I cannot do rope for a living the way I want, then I won’t do it for work.
I promised that to myself. I owe it to myself.
It has never been a question whether I do or not, rather the HOW I do it. And, I believe, it is not a small detail.
At times in my life, it was tough to let go of some work opportunities. I was so scared I would lose everything I had built and find myself penny-less. Was I just a visionary? Did I have what it takes to arrive where I would like to? But I knew that without say no, without taking a risk, I would have never been able to find my way. And.. isn’t circus about risks as well? :)
The Rope Manipulation practice would have never existed the way it does, without taking a moment of bravery and believing in my vision, my needs, my dreams. And for this, I am forever thankful. For listening to myself and jumping into the unknown.
At the end of the year, I look back THANKING everything that I did that made me grow, as well as THINKING which jobs, situations, environments were necessary for me and what for. I ask myself which of these is important to go back to in order to support me in achieving my mission and which were still important for my growth but are not the future direction I set for myself.
I make a difference between the seeds I have been picking along the way and collecting in my pocket and which, in my own home garden, are actually good to plant.
In this dialogue with myself, I remember it is all about listening.
Listening to myself analytically.
Listening to myself physically.
Within my practice, each day, I enter the space, I move. Nothing planned, I just move. And through moving I listen carefully to where my body wants to move, I listen with the body to the body. And from there, I move.
This way, I feel like I am not abusing my body, I am not imposing any tricks onto it, I am respecting it.
And in this process, I noticed how the body is a massive source of inspiration. If you follow it, it will take you new places every day.
G
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